Let me tell you about how I know that you exist.
I was writing an article and I misspelled the word “induced”. I went to dictionary.com to check my spelling. When I clicked on the proper spelling of the word the first thing that I saw was an ad for BizRate.com. It went a little something like this:
Bargain Prices. Smart Deals. Save on Induced!
In a way I have to commend you. I now know that you exist and, in a twisted and skewed way, the ad did its job. Here I am at BizRate.com taking time out of my day to write a letter that will probably never get past the eyes of an intern. Kudos.
Still, I feel it is my societal obligation to inform you of just how insulting that advertisement was. Not only was it absurd, nonsensical, and ridiculous, but it was a… well… disgusting attempt at tricking me into giving you my money. Did the marketing department really think that by disguising an ad as a definition on dictionary.com that people would drop what they’re doing and start buying things from you? That shit is so brazen and so ludicrous that I have to believe that the person responsible was being tongue-in-cheek on a deeply cynical level. Either that or they have no soul at all and no respect whatsoever for the intelligence of the American consumer (not that I have much respect for them myself, but seriously… that’s taking it to a new level).
After visiting your website and navigating to the contact page (which I could only get to via the jobs link) it is apparent that you are a huge conglomerate that sees nothing past the bottom line. It is also apparent that your marketing department has no shame and is specifically targeting what is known as the lowest common denominator much like AOL did in the mid 1990s when they flooded mailboxes with those annoying startup discs.
Neither one of us can argue that it was the wrong path businesswise as AOL is now AOL/Time/Warner, one of the largest and most powerful corporations on planet earth. You, BizRate.com, may well be on that same path to global domination, but I’ll have you know that you’ll never get any of my money. I would never have made a purchase from your website for so many reasons, that ad being one of them. But you weren’t after my money anyway. The same crack marketing team that not only came up with that ad, but then pumped time, money, and effort into making it real, probably has seen that the demographic I fall into is not a profitable one and has decided to aim its arrows at the much larger and much more stupid middle-American market that shops at Wal-Mart, wears Christmas sweaters, and buys things like greeting cards and Hanna Montana costumes (available at BizRate.com!!! Makes a great gift!!!)
Good luck to you in your quest for evil. You seem to have all the tools you need to go straight to the top of this ugly greedy world.