I can’t take full credit for this one. This story is second hand from Scott Brummell.
So this phony baloney poser gangsta scumbag teen was on the bus with his homey all acting hard and shit when this other teenager gets on the bus. The poser dude starts talking shit to this other dude going, “Yo, that’s the dude that tried to start a fight with me. Yo dude, I’m gonna fuck you up.”
And the other dude was like, “Fuck you. Let’s get off the bus and finish it then.”
But the fake homey was all like, “I’m getting off the bus at Capital High School. Let’s finish it there.”
And the other dude was like, “I’m not even going to Capital High School. I’m not riding out of my way to kick your lame ass. Let’s do this now.”
And the bus driver was all like, “I don’t want any trouble.” but no one was listening to him.
So the gangsta dude gets on his cellphone and starts calling his buddies being all like, “Meet me at Capital High School. I need backup. Don’t ask me why, just do it.”
And the other dude’s all rolling his eyes and laughing at him cuz he won’t get off the bus.
Meanwhile the homey dude is still trying to round up some sort of posse and talking shit in between phone calls being all like, “I’m gonna fuck you up.”
But the regular dude is just calling him on his shit and he was all like, “How are you gonna fuck me up? You won’t even get off the bus.”
And the gangsta dude is all like, “With this!” and he pulls a picture of a sawed off shotgun out of his jacket pocket.
And the other dude is like, “What is that?”
And the poser is like, “It’s a sawed off shotty, yo.”
And the normal dude is like, “Yeah, but it’s just a picture of one. How are you gonna fuck me up with a picture of a shotgun?”
Finally this hippie that was at the back of the bus the whole time interjects. He’s all like, “You guys need to talk this out. Here.” and he pulls out a peach. And he’s all like, “You can share this. It’s the last of the harvest.”
You can’t make that shit up.