Monday, August 18, 2008

Oprah Purchases Lake Michigan

– Chicago, Illinois

In a landmark deal with the United States Government Chicago based talk show host and chair of Harpo Inc. Oprah Winfrey christened her new “Own Everything” checklist with the purchase of Lake Michigan. The deal was closed on Friday. The agreed purchase price was 100 bazillion dollars.

“It’s not even a real number.” said Winfrey. “When you’re as rich and powerful as I am you don’t even deal with money anymore. You just kind of shake hands and sign papers.”

US Treasury Secretary Henry Paulson Jr. stated, “This money will really help the economy. It’ll put a huge dent in the million gazillion dollars we owe China for that stupid Economic Stimulus Package.”

When asked about her plans for the second largest body of fresh water on earth Oprah was undecided.

“I don’t really have plans yet. The idea is just to own it. We’ll see where it goes.”

Talks between Oprah and the WTO have already begun regarding a possible purchase of the moon.


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